Rainy Friday thoughts

Usher and Alicia Keys are singing in the background. My Boo is a very sweet song, don’t you think? Makes me want to fall in love with someone.

Am I in love? Or just infatuated? Might be the latter, but it would be sad if it is, considering my age. Teenagers get infatuated, not someone nearer to 30. Sad indeed.

I fell in love once. Hard. I realised it towards the end of that chapter in my life and it really shook me. I had no idea that it could be so terrifying, the thought of not being with that person. But I survived with battle scars as souvenirs.

A few years ago, someone had professed his love to me. Flattered as I was, I knew that it would be wrong to accept it. Because I couldn’t love him back. His persistance only worked to drive us further apart.

I guess he was braver than I would ever be. He confronted me with his feelings. Head on, despite knowing that it might not work out.

Me, I just keep my feelings bottled inside. It is so much easier than making it known. I don’t see a future there. And by keeping it inside, I could keep a friendship going, which is very important. Perhaps, I am hoping for another love. Perhaps, it is infatuation after all.

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