Oh to be indifferent!

I woke up with a start, my heart racing. The sun would be out in a half hour, I tried to calm my nerves and thoughts. No use getting a heart attack over that guy.

– – –

You were in shorts and a pagoda t-shirt, like a scene from colonial Malaya movie. You stink of alcohol, yet have the nerve to hold out your hand to me. I refused to take it, I have little tolerance for people when they’re drunk. Especially family.

– – –

I cannot remember more, I don’t want to. If I can’t stand being near you in real life, I sure don’t like you turning up while I’m asleep, dammit. Why must you appear in my dream, turning it into a nightmare?

I wish I can be indifferent. That’ll mean I’ve stopped caring, no more feelings. Anger is a feeling, an emotion. I don’t even want to be angry. You’re not worth being angry about. But you just had to keep doing what you do best – disappointing people who matter, making promises you never meant to fulfill.

Bleargh. That one word just sums you up.


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