let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels
Little Wonders – Rob Thomas
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“Is that your mother?” the pakcik asked as he handed me the packets of kerepek. I nodded.
“You should celebrate Father’s Day here,” he said, motioning to the restaurant behind him, which I had just exited.
It was an innocent remark, but it rankled me all the same. Because I have not had a father, in the real sense of the word, for almost 10 years. Just someone whose name I carry, and I’m not proud of it.
I’ve gotten over him walking out. Even the part where he didn’t see any of it was his fault. However, I cannot accept the fact that he keeps leaving his shit for others to clean up after, over and over again. And how he can be so cavalier about it, when confronted. Or how he keeps playing the broken record about his problems with this and that so he’ll “need two more weeks”, every time. You do not make promises you cannot keep, or least try to fulfill.
It doesn’t matter that he’s found another platform to “talk to the masses” and show how he still has what it takes to contribute to society or whatever. I still can’t see beyond the person who disappoints the ones he so-called love. I used to respect him so much, you know. Not anymore. But I guess God had put me where I am now professionally to get rid of these bad vibes towards him. Nothing is random.
Mom sometimes say I brush people off easily, usually in a rude way. I just have VERY low tolerance for incompetence and idiocy and outright common sense. And he definitely fits the bill. Even if he is family. Harsh, huh. Daddy issues, I tell ya.
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