Absence of fear

A friend said that I was ‘fearless’ to be a reservist.  Ha.  I wish that is true.  At the time I found out about the existence of the naval reserve unit in 2009 maybe, but by the time I made the decision to go for the tryout early last year, there were mostly doubts and a little bit of excitement in my mind.  Obviously, my age and physical condition were major concerns but the possibility of wearing the naval uniform again certainly did wonders to alleviate my fears of being rejected.

On this day last year, I received a brief email saying that a basic course for reserve officers will be held and I need to confirm my attendance.  That was all.  For me, it was the starting point, although I only recently found out that my admittance date was much earlier.  However, August 25th was when I realised that I actually got in.

I could see now the enormity of my decision but I know that I am not alone.  I have my senior officers who made the same decision at about the same I did.  Heck, my commanding officer first became a reservist when he was a few years older than me.

So age is not a biggie, well, most of the time anyway.  What is more important is what I want to accomplish as an officer.  I guess I have managed to produce good results in this past 12 months, a few I have expected but many I entirely did not.  In fact, I was so worried I would screw up most of the time that hearing the term fearless to describe myself doesn’t seem appropriate.

When are we fearless anyway?  There will always be something, isn’t it.

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