Category Archives: Musings

Coming through in waves

I never thought of sailing for leisure, it has always been about racing.

Eddy said that yesterday and it occurred to me that I feel the same way. Even the few times I joined the pakciks to bring FORTISSIMO X out, all of us treated it as training, to try out a new equipment or simply to reconnect with the boat and make sure she is race worthy.

The one time I joined a couple of friends on a boat delivery job, it did feel like an assignment, with some elements of adventure and drama attached to it.

However, it would be nice to have a boat to just set out for a few hours to just enjoy the moment. Just like Jamie Cullum‘s song.

You arrived

Hana Maryam. She was born at 0137H Friday, 29 January.

Ida Yanti. Passed away after Maghrib Saturday, 30 January.

The latter had a relapse with cancer just a few months ago, it spread throughout her body starting from the lungs and had attacked her spine and brain cells. She was just 40.

About 10 days prior, an acquaintance in London passed due to a stroke, which happened after an operation. He was a few months shy of his 41st birthday.

Life is never a permanent thing to begin with, but I sometimes forget that fact, especially when I was younger. It’s easier to remember now, as I move closer to the fourth decade of my existence and have seen many of my elders, contemporaries and even people younger than me pass on.

I want what they have

By they, I meant Celine and Jesse.  I know they are fictional characters from three separate movies, but I still want what they have.  That connection.  That recognition of the impact of their first encounter had on their lives even after nine years apart, which was when they next meet.

I don’t want to wait nine years, though, because I know how precious life is.

– – –

I like Before Sunset best.  The first movie was too hopeful and young (if that makes sense), the third too real.  But the reunion in Paris had a dreamlike quality while maintaining some ‘realness’ to it.  When the three combined, the flow was believable, it showed how the couple evolved throughout the years first without each other and then together.  The looks, the flirting, the fights, I want all of it.


The place called home

It was early spring, in 2010. I had arrived in New York City after a month travelling across the US, feeling tired, cold and homesick. The song Home by Michael Bublé played a few times and I was ready to give up on my quest, because I longed to be back in KL where it’s always warm and I wouldn’t have to worry about dry skin, icy cold feet and which mode of transportation to take next. But I was saved by familiar people, an old schoolmate and a not-so-new acquaintance. A day with them and all was well again. I was able to complete my tour and moved on to Buenos Aires, Argentina. Turned out that I needed saving there too and I had strangers as my heroes, plus I received a hug from an angel as a bonus.

When I think of the word home, I think of my favourite people, doing things that I love and wearing the uniform. Home is where I am able to contribute, to give back. It is also the place where my heart is but it has gone off wandering. Again. I wish it would come back soon. I miss it.

Right now, I am the closest to home as I will ever be. The emotions I felt in New York that spring five year ago have crept up on me once in a while but they have never stayed long. So far that is. I hope it will remain that way for the foreseeable future.

Where the light exists

What would you give to the person you love?
I’ve mostly given books. Not newly bought, but my personal copies of titles I like. That would be on top of the list I think. I really suck as choosing gifts, books would usually be my first choice. Followed by experiences such as a concert, or taking the nephews to the zoo or the bird park instead of buying them toys. Make memories, you know.
I don’t think I could give my most prized collection, though. No matter how important a person is to me. I might share the books, or buy new ones for them.