また会う日たのしみに

You know what?

What?

I like being me.  

You just realised that?

Not really, it’s just that despite knowing that I’m not entirely the same person I was 10 or 20 years ago, I’m still ok being myself.  At my own pace, doing things I want to do, things I like to do, be with whom I want to be with.

Good for you.

I’m so blessed, I know that.  Although there are times when I wish for more.

That’s called being human.

I know you worry about me.  You shouldn’t be.  There are other things you should think about.

Yeah.  It’s a habit, I guess.

I’m grateful, but I’ve made peace with my feelings.  With you.  

I know you have and I’m glad you’re okay with everything.

あなたとは結局友達だね。

そうだね。でも君は大切だよ。

私にとっても、あなたは大事な人。だからこうやって一緒に頑張れる。

I’m glad we could do this.

Right now, I think I’d prefer having a quiet love that comes from friendship and nerdy interaction.

Nerdy interaction?!

Heh. 

You’re always one for stimulating conversations, anyway.

I guess I haven’t changed that much, huh.

Not so much, no.  But that nerd should be smart enough not to let go of you.

Like you did?

Ouch.

If I find him, I’ll be sure to tell him that.  Or maybe you could do it for me?

Sorry, kid.  You’re on your own there.

Bah. I knew I shouldn’t count on you.

When only the wind matters

Calm sea and light wind.  Not exactly the best condition for a race.  Add rain at intervals and you have frustrated skippers trying to find the best position to move faster ahead before the wind disappears next.

I forgot how exhilarating a race can be when the conditions are favourable.  The smell of salt water, the wind blowing and the boat tilting just enough to propel it forward at optimal speed.  Awesome.  Thank you, Fortissimo 8, for reminding me.  A cool skipper with loads of experience and a quirky character, an interesting group of people as part of the crew and a dash of sea sickness, just for the heck of it.  Because I needed to have that extra drama to make it a little more memorable.  Hah.

Looks like she’s still in the lead in her class, here’s to breaking last year’s jinx and making it all the way to the last race on top. 頑張れよ。

I wished I could have stayed on until the last leg to Langkawi, but 26 hours of sail time will have to do for now.

Roaming

Another year.  It started with work, with some down time mixed in.   Nothing new there.

For the past 12 months, work has been the main feature of my life.  Not the only thing, though.  I have my favourite people and the RMNVR.  I have moments of pride, of contentment, of satisfaction.  If only there were more off days.  That was the only not-so-good thing about the past year.

I know there’ll be more work to be done in the next 12, with new challenges.  Because change is constant.  And I’m okay with that.  Just let me be myself, not someone you want me to be.  That time has long passed.  I am not a 16 year-old wide-eyed girl in awe with the world.  I may make mistakes, but they are mine to make.  I may make bad choices but they are also mine to make.  Just be okay with it.

 

Speak softly, please

A self-described introvert, it took Susan Cain seven years to write a book, and then spent a year learning the ways of public speaking since her job now is to promote said book.

I love how she described her family’s favourite pastime, and her grandfather’s apartment.  Reading and writing.  Two things I’ve neglected this past year…

Work fatigue

You have the secretary general who refuses to take down minutes of meeting when his deputy is not around.  “Tak pa, biar setiausaha eksekutif yang ambil minit.” So I have to do YOUR job on top of mine?  Really, dude.

You get the annoying clown who says he’ll do everything but don’t, who only reads the top most message on a thread and then ask what’s it about, who asks repeatedly for a document to be re-sent because the attachment is corrupted when everyone else had not problem opening it.

You get people from another association asking you to do work for them.  Banyak la cantik.

You get the smarty pants who will ask all the so-called smart questions, which have been addressed long before.  Orang penat buat minit, kau tak baca.

When you work with PEOPLE, you get all sorts.  I think I have OD’ed on people this year.  Need. to. escape.

I have informed the boss that I won’t be renewing my (non-existent) contract when it ends in December.  Dah tak larat.