いつか、誰かとまた恋に落ちても

I was browsing when I saw this series title and clicked on it for the synopsis. Utada Hikaru’s song started and I was like… oh damn… Because my playlist is stuck in the 90’s and First Love is part of the set up.

On this eve of my 46th birthday, and after stopping myself at episode 5 of the series, I thought about my own 初恋. Or rather, my first unrequited love.

Looking back, I realised that I have always had the difficulty to express myself well, unless it was in writing. And even then, it was hard to be honest and say how I really felt to someone I like. I was a pushover. Yup. That’s it. I didn’t fight for who I wanted, instead I just let him break my heart.

That summer of 97 was when I had to make a clean break. I vaguely remember a long distance call from Fukushima to Manchester where I said quite a bit and continued to wallow in my pity party for one. I remember being invited to his wedding a few years after we graduated but while I’ve moved on, I didn’t think I’d be able to go without being affected by it.

I guess the drama series and Utada’s song made me a bit nostalgic, and although I sometimes wish to feel young, I wouldn’t want to go through my 20’s again. There were too much feelings and too many heartaches. I’d rather be this cranky old lady who is comfortable enough in her skin to just do whatever she pleases.

Sentiasa yang terbaik

Dislaimer: aku biased, sebab terlibat secara tak langsung dalam pembikinan filem PASKAL The Movie.

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I have not written here in ages but I felt compelled to do it after the premiere of the film. This is obviously not a proper review, I just need to let it out of my system. Here goes…

Although people who have seen the early screening of the movie gave mostly positive reviews, I half dreaded watching it in a cinema full of Navy people. Takut ada yang bangun keluar sebab tak puas hati. But then, with a few admirals (past and present) in the audience, I don’t think anyone would.

The opening scene was based on true events, with the real characters watching with us in Hall 13. Cue real Navy pilot acting as a pilot, complete with lines. If this was Hollywood, he’d have his Actors’ Guild card already. My first thought was, “those are OUR chopper and ship!” Although pride had started to cloud my judgement, I tried to be objective and looked at the story as it unfolded.

There was a proper storyline, with a bit of drama and loads of action. It established the protagonist’s choices in career and life up until the present day, and the dilemma he faces. The back story could have been developed a little bit more, but it was not integral to the main story.

I love Jeb as the antagonist. His Jebat-like (Jeb, Jebat. coincidence?) point of view of a so-called ‘broken’ system as opposed to Arman’s honourable stance much like Tuah was believable and got through to me as an audience. I think Jeb had some really great lines. And the one-to-one showdown of knife fight between Jeb and Arman – favourite scene.

The military assets were a big part of this movie, they are no bit players despite their brief on-screen appearance. In droves the assets provided the impact needed to show how PASKAL are able to operate on land, at sea (above and underwater) as well as in the air. Yes, pride did colour my view of the movie. Memang aku bangga bila tengok kapal selam naik dan masuk balik bawah laut.

In an ensemble cast like this, the co-stars did well to support the main story. Cerita askar, kena la ramai kan. Had a bit of laugh watching real Navy people I know on the screen. Heh.

Technically, this movie had quality equipment and very capable director of photography. The POV angle during a certain scene was awesome. The CGI crew did well on most of the scenes, a few were so-so.

I was on location on the first day of shooting. My colleagues and I followed them to all the naval and air bases. We saw first hand how the film was made, about 70 per cent of it at least. I remembered some scenes, how painstakingly long the shoots were and how brief it ended up on the screen. At one point, I remembered shouting at people to go change their attire at six bloody am or else they won’t be working that morning. I remembered the headaches and the stress of being on set. However, I am touched that the crew still came up to me earlier, despite the things they went through with me during the shooting. Haha. Even got a hug from the military consultant, which was really sweet. A true professional and a great guy.

As an end product, I am happy with what I saw. I might go for a second viewing once it is officially out.

In the past month-and-a-half, I have watched five movies at the cinema, four are local films. Pulang, Hantu Kak Limah (way out of my comfort zone but I did enjoy it), OneTwoJaga and now PASKAL The Movie. Malaysian films are awesome this year!

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For visuals, check out the movie’s official IG

Keep on hiding so you can’t be found

I caught the final bits of Some Kind of Wonderful while changing channels yesterday.  Mary Stuart Masterson was awesome in it.  And the script too.

It’s better to swallow pride than blood

Oh, and Elias Koteas stole the show with his lines.  Hilarious.

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I re-discovered Damien Rice earlier this week and went through his song lyrics whatever I could find.  I love The Greatest Bastard  I could think of a couple of people who should sing it to me.  Hah.

青い鳥

I saw the film 「青い鳥」 with Ayu today. I’ve known about it for a while, as I like Abe Hiroshi’s work, but has never gotten round to watch it.

The story was about bullying, which has been a long-standing problem in Japanese schools. Abe did not disappoint in this one, and I had tears during some of the later scenes. The guy in front had blocked out the subtitles but I managed to understand most of what was said and the written parts as well.

The last time I watched Abe was in ‘The Man Who Can’t Get Married’, he was hilarious. A successful architect with a difficult personality. In fact, most of his characters are quirky and awkward but he can do serious too. Serious and quirky is the best combination for him I think.

Memori silam meresah malam

At the end of episode three of season one, Rizzoli and Grant sat at the steps of her place, it was raining. Grant reached to pull a lock of her hair and then they got closer that their foreheads touched. They almost kissed, but Rizzoli pulled back slightly and kissed his cheek instead, saying “Have fun in Washington, I’ll miss you.” She then kissed his cheek again, stood up and went inside.

Why do I watch crime procedurals and get sucked in by the side stories, demmit?

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I wish that when people hurt, it really is like the line from the song, that only words bleed and nothing else. So that we don’t feel it, there won’t be any pain.

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I don’t want you. I lied. I’m still lying.