Do you laugh at those who cry?

Coming to the middle of the third month of my latest navy assignment. The work itself is good, with the usual challenges which is to be expected when the unit deals directly with the Chief.

On the admin side, I have not received my allowance since I started and things are slowly getting stressful. With the regatta job now put on hold, this is now one of my better (by not much) paying gigs but a prompt and regular payment is something I have never experienced, even during last year’s book project.

I have been told of the process of application for allowance, the back and forth with Armed Forces payroll unit and everything, but I still can’t accept how sloooow things move when it comes to payment.

Yes, I am a reservist who still works outside the military but that’s not the point. It is about taking care of one of your own, even if she is a reservist. While she may have joined the ranks due to pure interest and passion, when half of her working hours are spent on navy assignments, it does have an economic impact.

I value the respect awarded to me by my superiors and colleagues. I just wish it could come with toll and petrol money, at least. Those stuff are killing me. It’s like I’m paying for the opportunity to work there with no monetary compensation and I’m expected to say thank you.

I had a vision of love…

… in 3D!


A blending sponge is already three-dimensional, no? And a lip pouting tool? I’m barely able to handle BB/CC cream with the rest of the stuff women put on their faces, let alone this kind of Technology.


I saw the film 「青い鳥」 with Ayu today. I’ve known about it for a while, as I like Abe Hiroshi’s work, but has never gotten round to watch it.

The story was about bullying, which has been a long-standing problem in Japanese schools. Abe did not disappoint in this one, and I had tears during some of the later scenes. The guy in front had blocked out the subtitles but I managed to understand most of what was said and the written parts as well.

The last time I watched Abe was in ‘The Man Who Can’t Get Married’, he was hilarious. A successful architect with a difficult personality. In fact, most of his characters are quirky and awkward but he can do serious too. Serious and quirky is the best combination for him I think.

Your head on my beating heart

I feel that life is unfair most of the time, but he had another view.

“Life is always fair, it’s just we’re too blind to see,” he said.

It was a late night ‘conversation’ about the goings on in our lives after a brief catching up session a few weeks ago. A major reveal led to the understanding of why the radio silence for almost a year.

I’ve never seen him show much emotion, and it was hard to gauge his feelings by the words typed out on the screen. But I’m glad he is moving on with life, wherever that takes him.

– – –

Am I moving on? I guess so. Only once that I had really thought of you in this past month. Make that twice. One was inevitable, the other was a reaction to something that I wished I could share with you, yet I didn’t. It didn’t kill me so maybe I am getting better at this.

– – –

We’ve been fighting all our lives yet nobody seems to want peace and keep moving on to the next war. Unrest is an opportunity, harmony only sets off another fight.

Happy, darling

A sailing Sunday with four pakciks and a 13-year old. It was a great way to spend Valentine’s day. We made good time and the wind cooperated to return to the docks just before the rain. It felt really good to be on the water and doing some actual sailing, instead of watching people race each other.

– – –

Comot is making her way up Kilimanjaro, I hope she makes it to the top safely in time for her party. I am slowly planning my own celebration, with no deadline set. Soon.

– – –

Words. That is all I have.


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